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002405 Visit since
| Learning
the game - Part 6 | by Peter Gray
November
4, 2002. | 
Once you have grasped the idea that success on the golf-course vitally depends
on your ability to approach the game with confidence, you will be anxious to learn
some techniques that may help you overcome those powerful fears that approaching
the first tee inevitably invokes. First of all, you
should carefully consider how to improve your self-image through the adroit choice
of the most appropriate golfing attire. For example, it will not help if you appear
on the course wearing a Disneyland T-shirt and shorts, topped off by calf-length,
black socks. Nothing signals "first-time-on-a-course tourist" faster
than the sight of skinny white legs above long black socks. Just by their appearance,
those people have "loser" written all over them.
But let us start by considering what kind of hat you should choose. In Puerto
Vallarta, you absolutely must wear a hat to protect you from the bad things a
tropical sun can do to your skin. But, just as importantly, your hat makes a definite
statement about what kind of golfer you are - or at least hope to be. Nowadays,
the two most common kinds of hat seen on the golf-course are the straw hats (such
as Greg "The Shark" Norman wears) or the more plebian base-ball cap
model now favored by most of the top-golfers. A minority of players wear the kind
of floppy-brimmed hat that was first popularized by Christopher Robin.
The psychological benefits derived from choosing a straw hat are two-fold. Firstly,
it can give you the feeling of being uncommonly adventuresome. Especially if you
bend the brim into a passable imitation of the one Crocodile Dundee wears. Further
enhancement may be achieved by inserting such things as a crow's feather or a
rat's tail into the hat-band. On the other hand, a stylish straw hat can create
a James Bond appearance of casual elegance. Also, I might add, most men find ladies
wearing smart straw hats to be a definite turn-on - a distraction that may be
worth several strokes to them during the course of play.
The baseball cap in itself is purely utilitarian. Jesper Parnevik has tried to
juice it up a bit by playing with the brim turned upwards. Alas, it makes him
look like a small kid from a 1950's TV sit-com. But maybe those shows still run
in Sweden, where he comes from. Image value really depends on whatever logos are
printed on the cap. Please avoid any that say things like "Monty's Cattle
Feed " or " I have driven Route 66." Trust me, the image they create
is not the image you want. At the other extreme, you can give yourself some borrowed
glamour by purchasing one of the souvenir caps available at every major golf tournament.
Believe it or not, you can stride on to the tee wearing a "U.S. Open 2002"
cap - just as if you had actually played in it. Since that is going to take a
lot of living up to, however, I cannot advise such headwear for a beginner. Personally,
I do have a cap that says "Pebble Beach" on it. To be honest, I did
not set foot on the course itself - but I did have lunch in the club-house. I
think that almost counts.  The
Christopher Robin style scores strongly on sun protection, especially if you wedge
it over your ears. As an image-maker, though, I cannot find much to say about
it. At best it seems to signal a "Hey, what do you expect from me?"
defensive posture. The last thing about hats is: Do you
wear one that is obviously brand new, or do you beat it on rocks and drag it through
puddles a few times, so that it implies you have been through some mighty tough
battles in your time? A golfing buddy of mine, who is a really good player, loves
to walk on to the tee with a straw-hat that appears to have been mauled by an
angry bear. If you share a golf-cart with him, you will be covered with bits of
straw that are constantly shedding from it. Clearly, that is the kind of hat only
a supremely confident golfer can afford to wear. The
dress-code for shirts and trousers is pretty relaxed on the Puerto Vallarta courses.
Most players wear shorts because of our humid climate. Long trousers do tend to
raise the question: "What has he got to hide?" Though I know one or
two players who have such an abiding fear of flying bugs that they insist on being
covered up from toe to chin in all weathers. You should
check out the pro's shop to get an idea of the kind of shirt that is considered
acceptable on the golf-course. They come in all colors and have nice logos stitched
on them. If you get a bad case of "sticker shock" you can run over to
any of the local supermarkets and find something similar, but much cheaper. Similar,
certainly - but be warned that, after your shirt has been washed a few times,
you may come to be identified as the guy who sports a logo that looks like a half-eaten,
purple lizard which has migrated from your chest to a place just above your belly-button.
This will not help your confidence one little bit. It
is acceptable to wear shirts unconnected with golf as long as they are similar
in style and have relevant image value. Logos on shirts that demonstrate service
in the armed services are good. They can also substantiate your claim that it
was "just that old war wound" that caused you to drive so wildly out
of bounds. People can then hardly avoid pleading with you to take an extra mulligan.
Company logos may be acceptable - depending on whether the latest CEO is facing
a jail sentence or not. Finally, you will have to choose
the kind of golf-shoe you think will suit your overall appearance best. Remember
that you will have to look down at your feet a good many times out on the course,
so you need to be happy with your choice. The classic golf-shoe is a two-toned
affair - like white and brown or white and dark blue. Since it has been around
for untold decades, choosing this style can help communicate your abiding respect
for the grand old traditions of golf. If you peruse old sepia-toned photos of
the past masters of the game, you probably will not want to copy their baggy trousers,
tweed caps and Pringle's sweaters. But their shoe-style keeps marching on!
 Nevertheless,
there are options. The most revolutionary - but very interesting for play in Puerto
Vallarta - is the introduction of the golfing sandal. Traditionalists will have
you believe that you cannot play golf well unless your feet are shod in shoes
as heavy as a deep-sea diver's and with vicious metal spikes imbedded in them.
Nowadays, metal spikes are actually banned from the majority of U.S. courses.
They might have been banned in Scotland too, only the canny Scots discovered that
having their players wear heavy spikes saved the cost of having to aerate the
courses with machines. Now, there may be a hundred players
in the world whose body torque is so great when they drive off the tee, that if
their spikes were not imbedded inch-deep, they would spin into the air like Dorothy
in her Kansas tornado. For the rest of us, soft spikes are just fine - and so
are lightweight shoes. To reassure myself of this, I decided to play one round
of golf in secret, wearing my bedroom slippers. Apart from having to spend hours
picking grass seeds and burrs off them when I got home, I detected no adverse
effect whatsoever. So, if you want cooler feet, you may want to join the sandal
revolution. When you have purchased all your golfing
attire, I suggest you put everything on and study yourself in the bedroom mirror.
Do you feel you have achieved a look that will serve you well on the golf-course?
Should your wife happen to come in at that moment and quickly announce that she
has a headache, you are free to interpret that as evidence that your outfit is
signaling that you are a man who is more than ready to play the game. Archives
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