|
002727 Visit since
| Learning
the game - Part 9 | by Peter Gray
December
1, 2002. | 
If you flick through the Rules of Golf you will find a number of references to
"hazards." Hazards, according to the rule-book, consist of " a
prepared area of ground, often a hollow, from which turf or soil has been removed…any
sea, lake or pond, river, ditch…and anything of a similar nature." What
I want to know is why being hit on the head by a ball or being thrown bodily out
of a golf-cart are not on the list. Please don't try to convince me they are covered
by "anything of a similar nature." It is my considered opinion that
the people who wrote the rules of golf never set foot on a golf course in their
lives. If they had, they would know a lot more about golf hazards than they apparently
do. Most games involving a hard ball also involve hard hats.
Due to negligence on the part of the rule-makers who lay down the law on all matters
pertaining to golf, there is no such provision for golfers. Baseball players wear
hard hats. Hockey players wear futuristic helmets. Even most cricketers, nowadays,
peer at the bowler through an iron-mask. Only golfers are let out on the course
unprotected. On the Marina course, there are two holes
that run parallel to each other, but in opposite directions. A slim line of palm
trees separate one from the other. Shortly after having been initiated into the
game, I was seeking my ball under this line of palms. I had hit a respectable
drive and the ball was reasonably close to the edge of the fairway. All was right
with the world -up to the point where an almighty blow from above struck me without
warning. My first thought was that the malignant god of golf had decided to dispatch
me once and for all, deeming me a creature unworthy to tread upon his kingdom.
I did not blame him for his attitude, but this did seem to me an unnecessarily
emphatic way to make his point. I would have gone quietly, if simply asked. But
this delusion quickly passed from my mind. The actuality was that I had been struck
full force by a player driving off the tee on the opposing fairway. In other words,
I had encountered one of the genuine hazards not covered by the Rules of Golf.
My playing partners gathered around me full of concern.
I had been extremely lucky. The ball had hit me at the base of my neck, just above
my collar-bone. So, apart from a bruise, I suffered no lasting injury. An inch
or two higher and it might have been a completely different story. A few moments
later, the man whose ball had hit me strolled up. " You can't see anyone
who is standing under these palms from the tee," he explained casually and
proceeded to play his ball. Not a word of regret or a solicitous "How do
you feel?" Why? Because the rules of golf decline to admit a struck ball
can be hazardous to your health. It is, apparently, officially a non-event. The
rules are icily cool on the point: "If a ball in motion is accidentally deflected
by any outside agency, it is a 'rub of the green' -no penalty is incurred."
For one, I resent being brushed off as a "rub of the green" -whatever
that is! People look at me oddly these days when they
see me cowering behind golf-carts, trees, or - in the worst of cases my fellow-players
- whenever there is the slightest chance an errant shot may come my way. I seriously
considered carrying a banner or a silver balloon around with me so that I would
be visible at all times. But I decided against it after learning that many golfers
are impelled to hit their ball straight at any visible distraction. Rather like
hunters who cannot resist firing at any orange jackets they see in the woods.
 My
encounter with another of golf's covert hazards also occurred early in my golfing
career, this time on the Flamingo course. I had coaxed a young friend of mine
to join me for a quiet game on a Sunday morning. Since he is full of energy, I
entrusted the job of driving our cart to him. I began to have my doubts about
that, when I detected that driving the cart as if it was an off-road speedster
was at least as appealing to my friend as the game we were supposed to be playing.
When we narrowly avoided going airborne over the crest of bunkers several times,
I inwardly considered suggesting that I take over driving duty for the rest of
the game. But one does not want to act one's years in front of the young, so I
held my peace. Which turned out to be a major mistake.
At
the thirteenth hole - and I am not superstitious - my golfing buddy made an accelerating
ninety degree turn on a steep gradient which hurled me overboard like a rag-doll.
I struck the ground once, bounced twice and came to rest with my face flat on
hard-packed ground. "Oh, gee! Sorry about that!" my friend said. He
could have said anything he liked, because I was past caring. But I did have the
presence of mind to agree when he suggested that I take over the wheel for the
rest of the game. It took several weeks for my bruised ribs to heal enough for
me to play again. When I told my more experienced golfing
friends about this accident, they tended to shrug it off. "Oh, people fall
out of golf carts all the time," they said, quoting chapter and verse to
prove their point. And yet the Rules of Golf are absolutely mute on the subject.
If I do something trivial like hit my opponent's ball by mistake, I am severely
penalized. But if I contrive to hurl him out of the golf-cart, I do not lose even
a single stroke. Now where is the sense in that? The truth
seems to be that the people who wrote the Rules of Golf care a lot more about
the course than about the people who play on it. The surface of the green is clearly
considered more precious than the skins of the players. For example, the rule-book
exhorts you to "carefully repair" divots, ball-marks and damage by spikes.
Under the section entitled "Etiquette," not only are you told to be
careful how you lay your golf-bag on the green, you are specifically instructed
not to lean on your putter while on that sacred surface. But is there an exhortation
to quit hitting innocent people on the head or flinging them out of golf-carts?
As far as I can see, nary a word! Don't say you haven't
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