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June 24, 2002.
Do you realize that the days have
already started to get shorter in our northern hemisphere?
I know it sounds silly, but we're on our way to winter,
folks! The longest day of the year was last Friday.
Now we're heading for the shortest day of the year,
but at least we won't reach that one for another six
months. And summer is just starting. Yippee!
It would be absolutely fabulous if
we could do that little trick, the one we see in the
movies where the handsome fellow (or beautiful lady)
goes running into the newspaper office yelling, "Hold
the presses!" And they do. I say this because every
week, probably in compliance with Murphy's Laws, the
really interesting stuff happens just after the Tribune
has been "put to bed." And we can't tell you
about it until the following week, by which time whatever
IT was has come and long gone. Case in point: the group
of dancers from Colorado (see separate article).
In this particular case, we had received
an e-mail at the paper from the editor of the Lake Chapala
Review, on Tuesday. He told us that this group would
love to perform in Puerto Vallarta - free - and could
we do anything for them, i.e.: get them a venue for
Thursday evening, advertise the show somehow, etc.
Our first impulse was to contact
the municipal Department of Culture. We were told that
their depleted budget would not even allow them to set
up speakers at Los Arcos (even IF the rain would let
up that night). However, they did offer to send out
e-mails to their entire database advertising the youngsters'
show - if and when we could find another venue for them.
We did, and we advised them of it. They promised to
send out the e-mails right away. To make a long story
short: at 8 o'clock that night, absolutely no one had
shown up. Makes one wonder, especially that the next
day, all sorts of people (local Mexicans) admonished
me for not having advised them because they would have
LOVED to see the show …had they known about it.
Another case in point, a conference
is scheduled for Friday, June 21st at the Auditorium
where the Palestinian Ambassador to Mexico will be giving
a lecture on the present situation of Palestinians.
I think it will be most interesting and as I write this,
the gentleman is giving the same lecture in the state
capital of Guadalajara. I fully intend to attend the
one here, but you, dear readers, won't find out about
it in the Tribune until after the fact. Once again,
we found out about it too late to advise you. And ditto
for the group of 100 musicians from Vancouver, Washington.
The Department of Culture only advised us about that
one the day before the show… I'm sorry.
About ten days ago, having had my
compulsory cup of strong coffee while reading the Tribuna
de la Bahía, I went to turn on my computer as
I do each morning, except that this time nothing happened,
absolutely nothing. Not even a click. I tried everything,
I changed the wires, I checked the power regulator,
I jiggled the wires in the back. Nothing. Finally, having
no alternative, I disconnected all the life support
systems and brought it to the computer hospital's emergency
room. There were many other "patients" waiting,
all with little slips of paper stuck in their "A"
drive slots. Once I had explained the problem to him,
the chief surgeon said to me jokingly, "I guess
it's motherboard day today…" There was a twinkle
in his eye (not a good sign at any time.) "What's
that supposed to mean?" I asked. "Well, so
far, all the ones that have come in today need new mother
boards." "But how could that be, in my case?
The motherboard -and the whole computer as a matter
of fact- is barely nine months old…" "Yeah,
but haven't you ever had a car just break down? S#$%^
happens, you know. Don't worry, it's still under warranty."
I left. The next day, they called me from the computer
hospital to advise me that unfortunately, their early
diagnosis was right. The motherboard had succumbed to
a fatal heart attack, but not to worry. They didn't
have the right replacement in stock, so they would transplant
another, bigger and better and faster one - for free.
Wouldn't it be nice if they could do that with humans?
Driving back home from the computer
hospital, as I was stopped in front of a red light,
I watched in amazement as a pick-up truck ran that red
light on the Libramiento as if it wasn't even there.
Didn't even slow down. What if there had been a car
coming into the intersection? Thank goodness, there
wasn't.
I had to stop at my accountant's
office to pick up some papers and he informed me of
the latest changes in Hacienda (equivalent to IRS /
Revenue Canada) regulations. He was sorry to tell me
this, but his office would no longer be allowed to make
the monthly and/or quarterly tax payments on our behalf.
From now on, all contributors would have to make such
payments either in person at the bank, or through the
internet. I stared at him in disbelief. "So what
about the 90%+ of the population that doesn't have internet
access?" I asked. "Oh, not to worry,"
he answered, "the government said that it would
install computers with internet access in all the Hacienda
offices…" He grinned. "Okay, there are
over 97 million people in Mexico, what about all those
folks who don't know how to type, let alone be computer
savvy?" "I guess the government expects them
to buy a computer and learn to use it …I guess,"
he replied, still smiling, holding back the laughter.
The rest of the Mexicans in the waiting room weren't
so tactful. They just burst out laughing out loud. I
don't know about them, I just know that my ex refused
to touch a computer keyboard until he was over 50, and
my mom wouldn't get near one if you paid her, so what
is to be expected of these millions of taxpayers who
don't even have a telephone line? Quote my accountant:
"They won't pay." He then went on to tell
me about Part B of the changes: All these tax and deductions-at-source
payments would have to be made based on new forms issued
by the government. But accountants cannot buy these
forms as they could the old ones. These new forms had
to be downloaded and printed out off the Net… except
that the web site accountants were instructed to log
onto in order for them to do so is unreachable! For
my part, I received a letter from Bancomer 11 months
ago telling me I could do all my transactions on line
...but I have never been able to get a PIN number from
them.
By the way, we received very few
e-mails in answer to my question last week where I asked
our readers to let us know if they had detected any
reduction in the number of buses downtown. For my part,
I didn't. As a matter of fact, I had to wait a good
while to get onto to Morelos St. as I watched no less
than six buses in a row drive by, with no more than
a half a dozen passengers in each. And coincidentally
or not, none of them had license plates… And when
I went back to the computer hospital to pick up my baby
with its brand new heart (yes, it was the motherboard),
I got stuck behind six, count'em, SIX buses in a row,
with an average of 4 people in each. (I had plenty of
time to check them all out carefully as I inched by
them.) In his daily column, Gerardo Sandoval, Editor
of the Tribuna de la Bahía, published a letter
he had received from an elderly gentleman who related
how he prefers to pay the full $4. pesos to get on a
city bus rather than be subjected to the abuse foisted
on him by all the bus drivers who refuse to grant him
the 50% discount to which he is entitled by law. The
same thing continues to happen daily with students and
no one seems able to solve the problem.
I was watching TV last night when
I heard a soft thump on my window. I looked up to see
a little frog's tummy flattened against the glass. I
don't know if he wanted to "come into the light"
or if he had other intentions. We looked at each other
for a while and then I walked away. I didn't want him
to "lose face" when he would have to find
his way back down from his high jump. A lot of his kin
have been singing all sorts of love songs in my garden
these past few nights, especially since the rains began.
Reminds me of the Amazon jungle, but without the monkey
yells.
I want to wish a personal "Very
Happy Canada Day!" to all my fellow Canadians on
July 1st. I had the opportunity to chat with Lyne Benoît,
Vallarta's own Honorary Consul for Canada. She has worked
so very hard on this year's Annual Terry Fox Marathon
of Hope that took place recently, and the response was
so awesome, that she's still handling all the paperwork
related to it so that she can start on next year's edition…
Consequently, she hasn't had time to organize a Canada
Day street fair like the fabulous one she did for us
last year. She has really spoiled us over the last few
years, but now we're on our own, Canajuns! Aren't we
going to do anything to celebrate "our" day?
Why, on Basilio Badillo Street alone, there are a whole
bunch of Canadian-owned restaurants, cafes and internet
cafes. C'mon, guys! Get with it! And if I can be of
help, let me know.
In the meantime, I wish all of you
a great, great time and please take care of each other.
The sun of Puerto Vallarta can be brutal when you have
no sun block on!
Hasta luego!
anna@pvmirror.com
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