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May 27, 2002.
The local papers have used a lot
of ink recently in covering the city's attempts to reduce
the inordinate amount of advertising for "massage
services" in town. Reading all those articles reminded
me of a couple of years ago, when the then new telephone
directories were delivered and it was "discovered"
that right after the letters of welcome by the Mayor
of Vallarta and the Governor of the State of Jalisco
in the glossy paper "tourist section" that
precedes the directory per se, there were pages and
pages of scantily-clad ladies advertising their availability
as "escorts" to visitors… That "discovery"
caused quite a furor back then. Many hotel managers
had all those pages torn out of the directories before
replacing them in the hotel's rooms. Some folks brought
their telephone directories to specified collection
points where the resulting mounds and mounds would be
burned. Nearly as exciting as the feminist movement's
members' bra-burning demonstrations way back when, don't
you think?
Personally, I have no argument against
those folks advertising in their respective sections
of the Yellow Pages, I just don't think they should
be allowed to do so between letters of welcome by heads
of state and articles describing the natural beauties
of Vallarta and the Bay of Banderas… On the other
hand, they too believe that they qualify as "natural
beauties", so there goes that argument.
Another aspect I've written about
with regard to their advertising methods is the "business
cards" that we find stuck between the windshield
and the wiper of our cars at the end of a lovely evening
spent in one of Vallarta's elegant award-winning restaurants.
What a yuccky taste that leaves!
And of course, there's the plight
of the REAL, honest-to-goodness masseuses who have studied
the true craft of Shiatsu and reflexology and rolfing
and all the other specialized forms of massage. They
are some of the most affected by this sort of false
advertising.
Talking about natural beauties, a
bunch of them have gotten into the habit of gathering
at the corner of my street, under the cover of night.
Some of the males of the species would often imbibe
great quantities of alcohol, becoming rather loud and
vociferous -sometimes even aggressive- as a result thereof.
In the meantime, the females would do their best to
attract specimens of the opposite sex, other than those
with whom they lived and fought. Watching them sometimes
brought to mind the articles written by Professor Cupul
where he describes some of the more unusual behavior
of certain species of wildlife.
Anyway, one night recently, the father
of some of those more aggressive male specimens decided
to call the police, signed some papers and most unceremoniously
heaved his own offspring onto the back of the officers'
pick-up truck… accompanying the feat with just
as unceremonious words of condemnation. I guess the
old man had "seen the light" and figured that
if he could do that at his advanced age, then it was
time for his sons to do the same. As they say, it's
never too late. In any case, it was quite a show and
since that night, we haven't seen any policías,
or federales, or any other category of law enforcers
come to think of it. Now the natural beauties have the
corner all to themselves, along with some welcomed peace
and quiet.
A couple of weeks ago, a reader had
sent a letter to the editor questioning the reason for
the asphalt patches that were appearing all over the
south side. The answer was that the patches were meant
to make it easier for the bicycle race scheduled for
that Sunday. Okay, fair enough. My question is: Why
wasn't anyone at the Tribune informed of Vallarta's
VIth Annual Triathlon??? This wasn't just any ordinary
bicycle race, it was a triathlon! With international
participants! We would have been able to tell our readers
about it, they would have been forewarned about the
traffic tie-ups that would (inevitably) occur throughout
town, and of course, they would also have been able
to witness the event and cheer on the participants.
But that's the way things happen here in Paradise. And
then everyone complains about the "poor" turnout…
(Personally, I felt very proud to read that a Canadian
had won the event, even though that was way after the
fact.)
In any case, congratulations to all
the athletes who took part in the Triathlon, and to
all the not-so-athletic types who went out to walk,
run, skate and bike to raise funds at the recent Terry
Fox Marathon of Hope. Also to all the organizers and
sponsors who contributed to make the event so successful
and to raise so much money to fight cancer. As they
say in Mexico: "Sí, se puede!" Way
to go, folks!
When I woke up the other day, the
bay had disappeared. It was as if I were looking out
at the edge of the world, back in the days when folks
thought the world was flat. No mountains to the north,
no ocean, no horizon, just a hazy outline of the palm
trees along the coastline a few blocks away and nothing
beyond. When that happens, I know that it's gonna be
a HOT one! But that doesn't take away from the fact
that it's still a strange feeling looking out there…
into nothingness.
I hope all our American visitors
enjoy(ed) their Memorial Day weekend, I wish you all
a wonderful time and please take care of yourselves
in this heat, drink a lot of liquids and don't forget
the sun block!
Hasta luego!
anna@pvmirror.com
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